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Bored? Here's How to Create a Crisis in One Simple Step

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Are you bored? Are there few real issues where you live, or are you unwilling to address real harm happening around you in a serious way? Well, look no further. I have the answer to your ailment, and it's so simple, you'll think I'm lying. Indeed, I can help you manufacture a crisis in one simple step:


Step 1: Make something incredibly benign illegal.


That's it! Simple, right? It almost seems too easy, but it's worked throughout history. But be careful - you can't accidentally make something malignant, like violence or theft, illegal. That would solve a crisis. Since we're uninterested in solving real crises and/or there are no real crises where we live, that simply won't do. No, you have to make something victimless illegal, than you have to convince others that there really is a victim. Let's look at some examples throughout history:


  1. Alcohol prohibition in America: This is a classic case of crisis manufacturing, and it worked terrifically! Why did we get rid of it if it was so good at keeping us occupied politically? Well, the Great Depression came along! But until then, alcohol prohibition did a great job, and gang violence during the 20's is a perfect attestation. Other places, like Europe, didn't need to bother with this type of crisis manufacturing, because they had the aftermath of WWI to deal with. Germany, in particular, didn't need alcohol prohibition to manufacture issues, because they were busy with the incompetence of the Weimar Republic and crippling reparation payments.

  2. Marijuana prohibition everywhere: This is similar to alcohol prohibition, but even better - cannabis is much more benign than alcohol, so we don't have to worry as much about real issues popping up, like vehicular accidents and domestic violence. With marijuana, we're more free to create problems without having to deal with actual problems! Denmark does a great job of this, and for good reason - it's way too safe there to not ban something as safe as cannabis. With little murder, rape, and theft, the Danes need to ban something in order to get their fix of heavy-handed police enforcement. Pot gives them a way to do that without endangering proper folk. And, banning pot creates the murder, rape, and theft Denmark lacks! Even better, the ones who are in most danger are the ones who refuse to stop doing what we've politely told them to stop doing.

  3. Immigration prohibition: This is a really good one, and it is practiced by everyone around the World. With immigration prohibition, we create benign problems that seem very serious by manufacturing the conditions needed for illegal immigration. We also create a great collective enemy who can act as a scapegoat for all our real issues that we don't want to deal with. Immigration prohibition also shows that we can create cascading crises by banning multiple related and benign behaviors. Indeed, with immigration, we ban freedom of movement and the right to work! Now, when immigrants come illegally, they aren't able to fend for themselves and are forced with the task of going underground and working illegally. This is excellent! Now, we can showcase them all in refugee camps and show how helpless, starving, and poor they are. By denying them work, we can also blame them for ruining our public finances with reliance on welfare and handouts. It's the absolute perfect recipe.


As you can see, it's quite easy to create a crisis if you're bored but too tired to deal with your real problems. I could give you many more examples, but I need to go stop my neighbor from building a shed in his backyard.

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